Saturday, March 28, 2009

Reports of My Death - Exaggerated!

Mark Twain and I have something in common.  Both he and I can say that the report of my death was an exaggeration.   And now for the story behind the lead in...

"Pastor Kochsmeier, this is Pastor Kochsmeier", reported the recorded message on my cell phone voicemail.  Continuing on, the unfamiliar voice of my second cousin, Bruce, stated that he had received a fax which might be of interest to me.  I returned his call, much to the bewilderment of his church secretary, who more than likely had never heard a strange voice pronounce "Kochsmeier" with such a native flair.

The facts of the fax indicated that Bruce was being contacted by a lawyer from Spain on behalf of late (as in dead, not simply tardy) Mr. David Kochsmeier.  Bruce supposedly was the next of kin.  Better than the report of my demise, was the amount of money I had deposited in a Spanish bank just before my death.  It was a whopping $15,500,000.00!  I had supposed the economic downturn had affected even my off-shore accounts and I was nowhere close to that anymore:)

Lessons to be learned from the facts of the fax:
1) Don't be so stiff, people, especially lawyers, will think your dead.  
2) Take a deep breath every so often, just to keep them, especially lawyers, guessing.
3) Don't believe everything you read, especially if written by a lawyer.

The most important lesson, seriously is: Spread your wealth around by investing in people and ministries that help other people with basic needs for life.  You can't take euros, pesos or greenbacks with you when you really do die.  As my dad used to say, "You never see a hearse pulling a U-haul".

Bonus lesson: 
If you are reading this, find someone who is breathing and hug them tightly for a moment.  You never know when the report of your death won't be exaggerated!!

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